Phase 1:
We begin with the assessment phase, which involves an initial joint session to explore the timeline of your relationship, its ups and downs, your strengths and weaknesses, and the reasons that brought you to therapy. Afterward, there will be individual sessions with each of you to gather more information about your personal journeys, including early life experiences, previous relationships, physical and mental health, and other factors shaping who you are today. This deeper understanding allows me to grasp your individual backgrounds and how they influence your relationship. We then reconvene for another joint session to reflect on what I have learned so far, both about your individual paths and your shared journey as a couple. Together, we define the common goals for therapy and establish a plan tailored to your needs.
Ideally, I prefer to conduct the assessment phase in a four-hour in-person session. This format provides couples with an opportunity to process the emotional challenges that often arise during the initial session. It allows time for you to individually share personal experiences. Finally, coming together for the last session before therapy begins enables us to gather our thoughts, emotions, and create a roadmap for the future. This process gives couples a sense of direction and instills confidence. If necessary, sessions can be conducted over Zoom, although in-person sessions are preferred to build rapport and include non-verbal communication into my understanding of you, which can be harder to discern over online platforms.
Phase 2:
After the assessment phase, regular therapy sessions typically occur on a weekly basis. Initially, I recommend scheduling two-hour sessions for the first three or four weeks. This extended duration allows both individuals to have sufficient time and space to express their thoughts, concerns, and perspectives in an uninterrupted and safe environment. It is essential for each person to feel heard and validated, as well as provide the same for their partner. The frequency and length of these intensive sessions may vary depending on the specific needs of the couple, and I will provide guidance on this after completing the assessment phase.
Phase 3:
As therapy progresses, sessions transition to one hour per week and eventually to one hour every two weeks. This transition will be a collaborative decision, ensuring that all parties involved are comfortable with the change in frequency.
Phase 4:
The final phase of therapy focuses on maintenance and relapse prevention. At this stage, sessions may occur once a month, ensuring that the progress made during therapy is sustained in the long run.
On average, the entire therapy process for achieving healthy and sustainable change typically spans between one to two years.
My expectations of you in therapy:
Similar to exercise, attending a personal trainer once every two weeks won't lead to significant fitness improvements. It requires consistent effort between sessions. I will guide you on the work that needs to be done, but the more you invest in this process, the better and faster your progress will be. I will always ensure that any assigned homework feels safe and appropriate for everyone involved.
I expect you to attend scheduled sessions, understanding that unforeseen circumstances may occasionally arise. However, by engaging in this therapeutic process, you are communicating that your relationship and mental health are a priority. Your commitment to the process is crucial in making it work and demonstrating to your partner that they, and your relationship come first, even amid busy schedules or other obligations.
I expect you to be present and open during therapy sessions. Approach therapy with an open mind and heart, willing to hear what needs to change—sometimes within yourself. Be receptive to trying new approaches, even if they initially feel unfamiliar, structured, uncomfortable, or vulnerable. Remember that you sought therapy because something wasn't working, and by coming here, you hope to gain insights and strategies for positive change.
I expect you to be respectful of your partner, yourself, me and the process.
If this feels right to you, and you are ready to begin, please head over to the Contact page and lets start the process. If you don’t think you can commit to any of these expectations, please consider whether it is the right time for couple therapy.